Dorothy Tweets from Oz

Dorothy Gale's Tweets of Oz by Jason Goldtrap

Sultry day in KS. I dress like I’m 12 but I'm actually 17 because I don’t want to get any more marriage proposals. #KansasIsBoring

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Farm life is dull. There must be another world #SomewhereOverTheRainbow

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Na-Un! Almira Gulch just took Toto for chasing her cat. #CatsAreEvil

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Forget this crap, I’m running away!  #ManicMondayPanicMode

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Good gravy, Kansas goes on like forever. Maybe I’ll go to St. Louis and meet a guy on a trolley. #KlangKlangKlang

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Met Prof. Marvel (he’s not a super hero) hoping to meet Chris Evans at some point. #EyeContact Weather looks bad.

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Um, everyone on the farm ditched me and locked the cellar. Got to hide in the house.

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Being in the middle of a tornado is a bit freaky deaky.

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Where’s all the sepia? What’s color? #DontThinkWereInKansasAnymore Also, I killed somebody!  #NotMyFault Ooo, nice shoes.

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Just saw a lady float in through a bubble. Says asked if I was a good witch or a bad witch. I replay “Neither.” “Only bad witches are ugly.” Um, cha! #ReadyToRumble

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Yellow Brick Road? Talk about government waste. Why can’t she just fly me there in her bubble?

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Talking Scarecrow? Yeah, why not? I once dated a guy with no brain so I can handle this.

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So now I’m hanging with no brain, no heart, no courage. #SingleLife Wish Iron Man could join us. #RobertDowneyIsHot

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Lions, tigers and bears. Oh my. Except the Lion shouldn’t be a problem. Can’t he just convince the other lions not to eat us?

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The witch is shooting fire balls at us. #SuperMario I’m calling #911.

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I keep hearing #PinkFloyd #DarkSideOfTheMoon in the background

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Emerald City is awesome. But it is so far to walk. Taking nap in a field of poppies.

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Oh great, another weirdo smoothing up to me. Big green head, no body #SingleLife

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Um, can’t you just let me borrow a bubble thing to fly home. #OzLife

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No way! Don’t like flying monkeys. #BuildTheWall

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Get your own shoes, witch. Ever heard of #Amazon

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Toto just ditched me. Gee, thanks. #FriendsDumped

Me :(

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No brains, no heart, no courage guys are I are running around the witch’s castle. What comes next? Thanks, but #LetsJustBeFriends

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I just killed another witch! #BadDay

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Remember how I’ve always said I wanted a charred broom stick? Me neither.

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And to top off this cherry sundae of garbage the Wizard is fake and the balloon left without me. 

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Um, you know you could have told me about the clicking heels thing like 2 hours ago.

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Back home, it was all a dream. Drag. #KansasIsBoring.